Violence@UW

 

A group of students working together to create community and fight for an end to violence on campus

Written by Jessica Katz, Online Editor

Graphic provided by @paveuw on Instagram

This piece is a follow-up to my previous highlight of Promoting Awareness Victim Empowerment (PAVE).


TW: This piece discusses topics such as mental health, suicide, sexual violence and other types of violence.

Every survivor has their own story of hurting, of feeling and of coping. Yet, not every survivor feels heard. On April 24, 2022, students and faculty gathered at the Gender and Sexuality Campus Center to listen. Survivors at the University of Wisconsin-Madison created visual representations–art pieces, sculptures, poems–of their individual stories. Attendees were also invited to speak and to participate in a body mapping exercise. 

The Violence@UW Coalition–composed of Mecha de UW Madison, Wisconsin Black Student Union (WBSU), Wunk Sheek, Club Q and Promoting Awareness Victim Empowerment (PAVE)–organized the event to address the question, What does violence at UW look like?

I have been privileged enough to feel comfortable sharing my story and lucky enough to have a platform, like Moda,  to do so. Nonetheless, I was grateful and honored to share two pieces of my written work for Violence@UW. Moreover, I’m proud to both witness and be a part of this incredible coalition, truly paving the way for survivors to feel heard and supported.

It is always emotional to talk about my experience; while writing can be therapeutic, it requires somewhat reliving the pain of experiencing and moving forward after an assault. Viewing others’ art and reading others’ work, however, was even more emotional for me. Walking through the gathering, I felt proud of the openness, vulnerability and strength of my fellow survivors. In the midst of that, I also felt their pain. No one should have to go through that overwhelming yet somewhat numbing confusion, sadness and hurt. To me, that emotion is good. It means these advocates are succeeding in their goal of starting conversations around violence. Overall, the gathering was beautiful, touching and extremely impactful.

For the gathering, junior Ashley-Grace Dureke created a necklace. At first glance, it’s a beautiful combination of white, crimson and mahogany, but behind the colored stones lies a deeper meaning. Ashley started making jewelry during her time in quarantine. She was inspired by her mother, an African immigrant, to escape reality and express her feelings through the art of jewelry making. “Not sitting on and not saying anything about [my experience] for two years now, the necklace brought it out,” she said. “It’s been like a breath of fresh air.”

As a Black woman on campus, Ashley has felt dismissed, alienated and marginalized. In her words, “There are not enough people of authority who look like me, sound like me, talk like me, or have had experiences like me that can help improve the student experience for people like me.”

For Ashley, this piece feels intimate. Although she normally caters her jewelry to others, this one is just for her. She described her intention for this piece beautifully, “The white to red, to the deep red pendant–it lines up to your vocal cords and your heart. It’s like, I’m not able to fully say what I feel about my experience on this campus. It’s almost like I’m constantly choked up on my words. … I’m very expressive, but I also feel like I’m never really able to express those feelings with the majority of this campus because there’s just a fundamental sense that they don’t understand. They have sympathy, they feel bad, but they don’t understand.”

One part of my conversation with Ashley that stuck with me was how eloquently, yet simply, she described the impact of her necklace. “Once I finished it, it was like an exhale,” she said. Thank you, Ashley, for sharing your work with the world. I am touched by both your strength and vulnerability, and your story is important in helping people understand that violence on this campus is multi-layered.

Sneha Arunkumar, peer facilitator for PAVE, played a huge role in the art gathering as both an event planner and a speaker at the open mic. She spoke authentically about her story and dove even deeper in her conversation with me. In their second year, Sneha felt burnt out from the engineering program and ultimately dropped from UW. They explained, “I was really struggling with my mental health and didn’t know how to articulate it. I feel like UW didn’t give me that much support in terms of where to turn. It never feels holistic or something that is catering to students.”

According to Sneha, violence does not have a concrete meaning; it is not purely physical or sexual or even condoning these acts. “It’s abstract what Violence@UW really means and I think every student and community member that has interacted with UW has such a different experience with the violence that UW perpetuates,” she said. “In the ways UW commits violence, there’s so much that goes unsaid. Part of Violence@UW’s goal is to reach people who go unheard.”

One idea I connect with and that I think many survivors connect with is the feeling that your story is not “bad” enough or severe enough to be shared. Sneha articulated that perfectly, “Before I talked, I felt very insecure about if I should even be a submitting an art piece–if my story was worthy enough to share–but I think that is absolutely what the goal of Violence@UW is, for people to be able to understand every experience is valid.”

Sneha expressed their gratitude for the radical support of this coalition and her privilege in being a part of it. “Students know how to support each other, but I think it’s hard for students to support each other when we’re all struggling,” they said. “UW has a long-standing history of racism and colonialism that affects every single part of how students and community members live. That’s why it’s so important for Violence@UW to be happening.”  Thank you, Sneha, for sharing your story and continuously advocating for others–for their stories to be heard and acknowledged. I am inspired by your strength and determination.

Another student, who requests to remain anonymous, shared her experience creating for and attending the gathering. For a while, she felt like her story “wasn’t serious enough” to be shared, but Violence@UW helped her feel validated. “It’s been a very validating experience having the opportunity to make an artwork that feels real to me and validated my experiences,” she said. “And then to have nobody question my story, nobody giving me a hard time, it’s amazing. I’m glad I was a part of it.”

The opportunity was especially special to her, as it was her way of opening up to her friends. She shared, “Just having the ability to share that with them without having to verbally share that with them was really meaningful. It was the best way for me to open up to my friends.”

She explained that her story and her art are a constant part of her. Her journey has taught her, “You should always feel loved and that your heart is on fire. I felt that before, and I know that it can be felt again.” 

This piece, in particular, truly touched me, as it was a visual representation of an emotionally painful and almost numbing feeling I, too, have experienced: feeling unlovable. Nonetheless, in sharing her story, this student has expressed her hope and understanding that healing is near. Thank you for your strength and vulnerability; I am inspired by you.

So, what’s next?

According to Sneha, the coalition plans to meet during the summer and in the fall to take Violence@UW further, in hopes of catching the university’s attention. This means creating community spaces, getting more organizations involved and planning more events to engage with the community authentically.

Violence@UW hopes to serve individuals and groups who have not been served by the institution. “This is not our job to provide resources and to create community in this way,” Sneha said. “We are only students, people who are also being oppressed under institutions. It’s the university’s job, but we're here doing the work. It’s great to see people come together and support each other in a way that the institution doesn’t allow for.”

To get involved, contact violenceatuw@gmail.com.

I’ve attached resources for those struggling with any of the issues mentioned in this piece. You are never alone.